A few years ago, I woke up and was unable to differentiate between fantasy and reality. Since it is September and this month is recognized as Suicide Prevention Month, I thought this would be a wonderful time to share this story with you.
The story goes like this:
One night I went to bed after a long day during my undergraduate years. I woke up sleepily from my cell phone ringing.
“Hello?”, I said.
“Hi, Brittany. I am calling to say bye.” Someone I hold very close to my heart was on the other line.
“What are you talking about? What do you mean by ‘bye’? Where are you going?”, I said from disbelief.
The other person stated, “I am going to kill myself. I can’t live like this anymore. I am sorry I have let you down”.
Tears began to stream down my face uncontrollably.
“What? What are you saying? You promised me you wouldn’t. Wait… Please DON’T!”
“I have to.” The phone hung up. My mouth remained open in shock. My heart felt like it stopped beating and time stopped.
The next moment I remember is waking up drenched in sweat and hearing myself scream. What just happened? Did I cry myself back to sleep after that phone call or was that phone call only a dream? A nightmare? It had to be a nightmare!
To make sure what happened was truly a nightmare, I called the person’s cell phone. The next five seconds seemed like eternity. The phone was not being answered fast enough. It must have been…
Oh my God! I heard the person say my name!
“Hello! Is that you?”
“Yes, are you okay? Are you crying? What’s wrong?” I attempted to explain for the next ten minutes what just happened as my tears of happiness overcame me. I then heard, “That will never happen. I promised you that I wouldn’t do that. And I plan to follow through with that promise”.
I began to cry again. “You promise?”
“Yes, I promise”.
Luckily, that phone call I experienced was only a nightmare. Unfortunately, some people’s nightmares do really happen in real life. Talking about suicide or discussing one’s thoughts about suicide is nothing to be ashamed of. Discussing the signs and concerns about a loved one or a friend is what can be done to prevent suicide from happening in the first place. For support, for either you, a family member, or a friend, please call:
The National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK
The Youth America Hotline: Counseling for Teens by Teens at 1-877-YOUTHLINE
The Trevor Project: Crisis Intervention & Suicide Prevention for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender & Questioning (LGBTQ) Youth at 1-866-488-7386.